Tennessee Or Bust!

I really want to make it out to Bonnaroo this year! 4 days, June 11-14. I hate camping but will just have to suck it up! The lineup is very appealing to me:

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Phish (2 Shows)
Beastie Boys
Nine Inch Nails
David Byrne
Wilco
Al Green
Snoop Dogg
Elvis Costello Solo
Erykah Badu
Paul Oakenfold
Ben Harper and Relentless7
The Mars Volta
TV on the Radio
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Gov’t Mule
Andrew Bird
Band Of Horses
Merle Haggard
MGMT
moe.
The Decemberists
Girl Talk
Bon Iver
Béla Fleck & Toumani Diabate
Rodrigo y Gabriela
Galactic
The Del McCoury Band
of Montreal
Allen Toussaint
Coheed and Cambria
Booker T & the DBTs
David Grisman Quintet
Lucinda Williams
Animal Collective
Gomez
Neko Case
Down
Jenny Lewis
Santogold
Robert Earl Keen
Citizen Cope
Femi Kuti and the Positive Force
The Ting Tings
Robyn Hitchcock & The Venus 3
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
Kaki King
Grizzly Bear
King Sunny Adé
Okkervil River
St. Vincent
Zac Brown Band
Raphael Saadiq
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Crystal Castles
Tift Merritt
Brett Dennen
Mike Farris and the Roseland Rhythm Revue
Toubab Krewe
People Under the Stairs
Alejandro Escovedo
Vieux Farka Touré
Elvis Perkins In Dearland
Cherryholmes
Yeasayer
Todd Snider
Chairlift
Portugal. The Man.
The SteelDrivers
Midnite
The Knux
The Low Anthem
Delta Spirit
A.A. Bondy
The Lovell Sisters
Alberta Cross


meowwwww, who's up for a road trip?

The Next Six Weeks

Fitting perfectly into a pair of pants that you didn't think would make it past your thighs is possibly one of the greatest feelings in the world.

For Lent I always try to do something instead of giving something up. I'm going to try to work out 4 times a week. This means mostly in my bedroom with my secret little plan, but I am also going to try to walk a couple of miles when it's nice outside since I can't run. I think this will really improve my neck and back problems now that I'm out of physical therapy.

I also want to do a volunteer activity. There is this program with elderly people I wanted to check out last semester but I will this semester. My only problem is that I'm trying to return to my second job and obtain a third, so I don't know how much this will help.

A third thing for Lent is to reach out to more friends. I started today by setting a homework date with a friend in all my classes & setting up a weekend get-together with a friend I don't see nearly enough. It's really hard for me to reach out to others so I'm really working on improving that.

Working out gives me a lot of energy. I'm dancing around in my undies to Girl Talk. I'll have to start homework sometime soon.

"It's All Happening!"

Just finished my 500-word essay that goes along with my application to study abroad at Manchester Business School! The nervousness I was feeling a few months ago is gone, replaced totally by excitement and desire. I'm only a little worried about getting in! I might apply to this new, unannounced program to a school just outside of Paris as a backup. I'll have to wait 2 weeks for it to be added to submit my application if I want to do that. A talk with my adviser is due to see if it's worth waiting for!

How To Be Trailer from How To Be on Vimeo.

Kick It Up A Notch?

I was invited to be in the University Honors Program for my junior and senior years, something I declined when I was first admitted to the U of M. I don't know if that's something I want to do! I certainly haven't struggled too much in the classes I've taken so far, but do I really want to increase the difficulty level and workload with Honors classes? I would also have to complete a project to graduate with honors. I work two jobs already though, so I don't want to completely kill my social life and turn into a bona fide geek over the next two years. Plus, I don't know if it's possible to get enough honors credits in if I study abroad in the fall.

Overall, my mind is made up towards not joining the program right now. The kinds of jobs I'm interested in won't really care if I graduated with a couple Latin words behind my degree. However, I've been contemplating working for a food giant like General Mills after graduation. My uncle who works there said I should really consider a big company, even though I've rejected that idea from the start. He could put in a good word for me as well. I think I'll just need to talk to him about careers within General Mills that would intrigue me. A company like that would definitely be impressed with honors.

I guess I have until August to decide.

Resolutions

+ Put myself first
+ Volunteer!
+ Move on
+ Make more constant contact with true friends

Study Abroad

I've been talking about it all semester but still haven't figured out for certain where I'm going next year. I have to apply in February, but I won't be back to school until January 20. This gives me 11 days to bring it all together with the help of counselors and advisers. I started thinking about it early so this wouldn't happen!

I wish I was going next semester instead.

University Of Manchester?

Looking at testimonials from people in study abroad programs through Carlson tonight, I really started to freak out. Put that on top of the fact I can't get many credits from studying in Belgium or Bordeaux, France, and I became terrified. Leaving everyone behind for a program and culture that's so completely different from my own would really stretch my limits. I was contemplating not going.

Despite my desire to study abroad in the French language, I think I am going to check out the Manchester Business School. The students who left testimonials online for me to read really,really liked it. I might like it, too! They have so many classes that look like they could transfer to my major courses. My good friend from Kentucky is currently studying in England, so I know I can lean on her for tips & support. I was really looking forward to immersing myself completely in a different world with a different language, but my reluctance to deal well with changes around me will probably make me a better fit for a university in England. I did look at Scottish and Welsh universities, but none have the business strength I need. I am getting more and more excited about this opportunity as I write about it. I also feel like a bit of a traitor, too. I have been so excited to talk to people about studying in Belgium, and before that Bordeaux, and now I will be talking about England. I'm not fickle, but adapting to the changes I am presented. I thought Bordeaux would work out, and then I thought Belgium would work out.

Yes, I do get swept up in grand ideas without sometimes following through - a doggie day fundraiser for the Eau Claire Humane Society, buying only organic clothes (which I would do if I had money from working at Gopher Grocery instead of having to go on hiatus for the semester), etc. But studying abroad has really been a main goal for me since before I can remember. Traveling burns a fire in my heart, and the curriculum of many European universities will allow me to do that, if I save like mad over winter break and the summer.

I am terrified of coming back a completely different person that no one will love like they did before. I don't want to alienate the people who are the most important to me. And I don't want those people to change and move on while I'm gone! That is my biggest fear. What will I do without the rocks I have come to depend on every day? What will I do when I can't go home to snuggle with my mom after a difficult week? I will have to change and grow and hope it's in a way that will bring me closer to everyone.

Conundrum

None of the classes I need to take while in Belgium have been petitioned successfully for credits/as a substitute for classes here. I don't know what to do! I really really really really really need to go, despite my fear of leaving MN for so long. I'll find a way.

Follow-Up

So my adviser basically told me today that I have plenty of room to play around with classes during my 2 1/2 remaining years here. I've been dying to take an art history class & a sculpture class. I might even look into food science courses that have no pre-reqs. There's plenty of breathing room & plenty of time for fun abroad. Maybe I'll lighten my course load over there and spend a lot of time traveling - and enjoying Oktoberfest. I know of one friend who will hopefully be in Germany all year and a friend who will be coming to Spain spring semester, so I'd like to see them in a completely new world. My family has also talked about visiting me at the end of my stay.

Figuring out - or at least pretending to figure out - my future really puts my mind at ease and lowers my stress level. Things could change drastically for all I know, but for now I feel like I've just poured the concrete and am waiting for it to set.

Future Schooling

I realized tonight I can really have fun in Belgium. Even if I major in Entre and minor in OMS, I will only be taking 4 credits my final semester of senior year. Maybe I can use that opportunity to engage in Entrepreneurship in Action. I am just relieved to see that even though I feel behind my classmates, I could graduate early! I'm less stressed about making things work overseas, although I'm going to try my best to squeeze out every last credit. I would really like to minor in nutrition, but it would add way too many classes to my schedule and I would end up graduating late, I think. I thought about a minor in French, but would that really help me at all? I also thought about an International Business co-major, but I don't see that coming into play in my future plans. I will talk it all over with my adviser tomorrow!

The Mess Maker Baker

Busy at work tonight. By work, I mean my kitchen, doing what I love the most.
Made: ginger cookies, cookies & cream cupcakes, more granola, and popped some popcorn by hand. Tomorrow I'll be frosting more cupcakes, making rocky road brownies, and turning that popcorn into candy corn popcorn balls for a party on Friday.




I really am the mess maker baker:


...This is after I did most of the dishes.



That quote from my last entry really applies. I'm staying up late but I'm making $$$! And I couldn't be happier to be losing sleep on this.

Today in Entre Club I was introduced to the president of Granite City Restaurant & Brewery, who graduated from the Culinary Institute of Arts (aka my dream culinary school that will cost me $50,000 for 2 years). I asked him if it was worth it to go there and he replied that it was his best decision in his career. He is going to be putting me in contact with a recent graduate from their baking program. I'm so excited!

My aunt, also my massage therapist, offered to set me up with a session to pick her boss's brain - she also works for a "candy lady". She also said I could probably work there part time, but I don't know if candy is the avenue I want to go down. It wouldn't hurt to see how she operates her business, though! I also can't wait for that. I also NEED to go to Cooqi and check out the scene and see if I want to apply there.

Everything is starting for me! I think this is really what I want to do with my life. Tonight I learned how to make great icing and put it on a cupcake properly. I also experimented with some cookies and got great feedback from the guinea pigs, aka my roomies. Every time I bake a new thing, I love challenging myself and teaching myself new skills. This is all a learning process, so don't hate me if I mess up your order a little bit!

Today was a horrible day physically (I now have to sit in a chair to put on or take off clothes & shoes.), but all my baking and inspiration from Entre Club & the Entre major info session at Carlson really overcame that and made this one of the best days in a while.

Sweet Success

Doing well in my classes really puts me at ease. I often forget that academics is my strong suit & it's nice being reminded of that. I've been doing really well on all my French tests, papers, & oral exams. I just found out I got a 99% on my first Accounting midterm & 100% on my first Stats quiz. I'm pretty sure I did well on my first Stats exam as well! It takes a load off my shoulders knowing that my hard work is paying off & the amount of studying I can fit into my schedule is still enough.

In other academic news, I think I am going to minor in nutrition. It's something that I've always wanted to do & have a passion for. (People are often amazed I know so much nutrition information off the top of my head.) It won't take too much work and hopefully I can get it all done in 4 years, since I haven't even taken the prereqs yet! I have to start taking even just the prereqs the second semester of next year because I don't think I'll be able to do any of those things abroad in the fall & I don't have room to take them next semester if I do the I-Core of 4 classes for Carlson. I wish I had taken a physical science lab last semester so I wouldn't still have to fit in that requirement. Biogeography of the Global Garden was worth it, though. I love/loved that class. Take it if you can!


I'm really really not trying to brag (I'm always paranoid of people thinking this), this is just something in my life that's actually going well.

Seriously Considering...

in Atlanta, GA. #7 ranked business school in the world. I already meet all of the prereqs.

I might just go to France/Norway fall semester through Carlson and then transfer to Emory after that? Or I might just stay in Europe... Or just transfer there my senior year, but what's the point then?

Either way, I wanna get out of here and be warm.

Involvement

Today I decided to really take charge of my quality of life at the U and signed up for some things that really interested me.

- Y-tutors, tutoring young kids basically. I don't know any details yet, having only emailed them yesterday.
- Gave my membership dues to Entrepreneurship Club. Got a sweet t-shirt. I love free lunches.
- Entre Club tour of Schussler Creative, the company behind Rainforest Cafe. I've heard it's unbelievable so I can't wait.
- I'm volunteering at the U fair next Thursday. I hope I win a volunteer prize!
- I really want to be a part of the Entrepreneur Mentorship Program, but I couldn't attend any info sessions. I have yet to hear if I can still sign up. It would be an incredible opportunity that I don't want to wait till next year for!

Basically, my free time will now be 0 hours per week. Hopefully not, really.

Questioning

I'm not sure if I really belong at Carlson anymore. I was in BA and reading the syllabus, it didn't really apply to me. We have to research a company we'd like to work for someday. I don't want to work for a big firm. I don't want to go be an accountant or marketing analyst for someone else. I don't want to submit my resume to our career and internship recruitment program. I love my job at Gopher Grocery and would much rather work there next summer than for Deloitte. We're supposed to do an informational interview with someone in the field of business we'd like to go into, but I don't think I can really interview a baker for it! Maybe an entrepreneurial baker. I don't want to go to networking events sponsored by General Mills or go to the Career and Internship Fair to look for prospective employers.

There are a lot of people in my BA class that are Entrepreneurial Management majors, but I question their desire to really start their own business. Do they even know what kind of business they want to run? Or are they just trying to prove they can think for themselves? Will they end up just working for one of these big firms because they're afraid of their own creativity and incapable of actually getting something started? I feel like my generation shuns authority and tries to appear independent without actually being so. We're all cowards.

I am going to make an appointment with a career counselor to see if my skills and desires actually do fit into the Carlson way of life. We're bred to go into the big corporate world for a big box company, but not everyone must submit to that! I just need to talk with someone to help make Carlson work for me and my goals. I got into this school and I can come out of it with the education and tools I came in looking to receive.

New year,

New me? I have a feeling that I'm going to be spending a lot of my free time taking naps, reading, and catching up on Project Runway and Gossip Girl. Probably putting extra hours in @ the caf too.

I feel like I'm starting totally fresh, minus my familiar roommates that will become the foundations of my support system. I haven't figured out what my goals for the year are besides surviving. I don't know how involved I'll feel like being or anything. I don't even feel like school is starting in 2 days!

I really want to study abroad soon, maybe even next semester. I just really want to remove myself from Minnesota and experience something new on my own. Maybe I'll look into going to Ireland or the Netherlands. I can't get too out of my element! I've never wanted to study abroad for a whole semester because I'm such a homebody and could never deal with everything changing while I'm gone. But how important are things here to me anymore? The other day I thought about just staying abroad and making a life there if I like it. Maybe it would suit me better. I feel anywhere would suit me better than here. I just can't find my niche and spend a lot of my time being unhappy.

I have a whole new year ahead of me; how am I going to make it count?

Crash Boom Bang

RIP Bernadine

Got into a pretty big car accident yesterday. My airbags went off and everything. Windshield cracked. Everything was obviously messed up. My car is cashed. See that big hole? The other person's bumper was lodged in there until the tow truck guy finally dislodged it at his impound lot with extra tools. Luckily a sheriff was on the scene immediately and could dispatch a trooper and ambulance right away. The ambulance never came, but I guess I didn't really need it. I've just got scrapes and bruises and bumps on my hands and up my arms. My hands look like gargoyle hands or something. The tops are really puffy and bruised and I can't really make fists. I also can't swing my arms while walking because the blood rushes to my hands and makes it really uncomfortable.

I called my dad right away, who called my mom, who could see everything in real time. MnDOT's cameras zoom into an accident and broadcast it online, so she could see the whole after-process.

I got a ticket for "failure to drive with due caution," but I don't know how much it is yet. I guess they don't list fines on the tickets anymore. The poor other girl got a citation for driving with an expired license.

I need to call up Dr. Anne and see if she can check me out and make sure I'm okay. It just sucks that I'm going back to school next week and I won't be able to come down for appointments because I don't have a car now.

It's also a good thing that I've got school starting next week because I won't really need a car now. My dad wants me to decide right away if I want another Lincoln Mark VIII so we can keep my car for parts. I don't really have enough for a new one right now (Lowest price for one is $1800 and I only have $1300 at the moment). I think I just want my grandpa's '96 Civic. He doesn't drive very much now, so it will just be a matter of asking him if he's ready to give up independent mobility. I can wait for a little bit if he's not quite ready yet.

My dad is really pushing me to get a new car right away, but I'm not really stressing. My mom is going to drive me to work tomorrow & Saturday. I didn't have a car on campus last year anyway! I do have a job that I need to get to, but it's only 4.1 miles away from my condo. I will find a bike asap and hopefully be able to bike there until winter. Maybe find a generous friend with a car that is willing to drive me there at 7 am on weekends. :)

Harumph

So my parents were only supposed to have to pay $1000 total for my tuition this year, but with the various made up fees the U imposes, it will be around $1800. That just means I'll be responsible for paying more of my rent. $550 University Fee? $475 Undergrad Carlson Student Service Fee? $336 Student Services Fee? All in one semester? What a rip-off. I don't even know what that money is going towards! I hate how expensive the U of M is compared to other state universities around the country. I know it's a tough school to get into and it's in the Big 10, but really. Come on. And Carlson just loves charging students extra money. You'd think they have enough corporate sponsors for tuition to be free.

Location, Location, Location

I wish I lived in a place where music label internships were more feasible. I know there's Universal around here, but that's about it. I'd much rather work with a smaller indie-ish label and see if I like that side of the music industry. I wanted to run a label or do A&R or manage bands for so long, but I've kind of let that dream go. Maybe I just need to shift it to apply to the music I listen to now vs. my FBR days.

On a similar note, I might try to turn my job at Gopher Grocery into an internship for credit at Carlson. I work directly under an entrepreneur so it makes perfect sense and really is an excellent opportunity to capitalize on. I'm really bad at follow-through though, so maybe if I tell enough people I'll be motivated enough.