Strong Ties

I've never realized how my mood affects the music I listen to until now.

When I was a junior & senior in high school, I was having the time of my life going to shows and writing about music and staying out late on the weekends and shopping with my friends. I was into artists like The Shins and The Strokes then, but didn't listen to them nearly as much as The Semester or The Academy Is... or Cartel. I used music to get me pumped up about the weekend or getting dressed for school. I didn't listen to Brand New's Deja Entendu very much because it was so dark, but Your Favorite Weapon was always in rotation. I was happy so the music I played was happy. I always had a hard time explaining to others why pop rock was my genre of choice, but reflecting I can see more of a connection to how I felt about life.

My parents weren't on the rocks, I had a nice job so I always had money, I was getting good grades with ease, I had a car, I was part of a solid group of friends, etc. Basically, nothing bad had ever happened in my life to that point. Everything always worked out how I needed it to. I was always afraid of impending doom in the back of my head because I knew it would come at some point, whether it being someone close to me dying or my parents struggling financially. I was thankful for what I had, but I didn't think I took it for granted.

I had definitely taken my good fortune up to that point for granted. My first weekend of college, my mom left and my parents put our house up for sale. I had to learn to juggle homework assignments and exams that would creep up in my schedule. I worked at a job I didn't like for the first time. I really started struggling to find my place because my high school friends were changing and I couldn't find many people that shared my beliefs to bond with. I fell out of contact with a lot of people close to me. I couldn't accept that the person I loved was wounding me more than I deserved and dragging me through the mud. I had eating issues. Basically, all this stress piled up at once and threatened to crush me. I am a pessimist instead of the eternal optimist I once was. I used to be the one my friends would go to for advice, but now I seek advice from a professional on a weekly basis. I feel like all these dark things flooding my life at once left little room for the light to shine through. I matured so fast that I couldn't learn to integrate all these new feelings into the way I was living.

With all these difficult changes came a shift in musical tastes. I started identifying with artists who sing with soul instead of Autotune. I began to prefer sad melodies to the pop punk standard formula. Lyrics about abstract thoughts resonated more with me than those of unrequited love for a girl who doesn't appreciate the vocalist anyway.

I was feelin' the sunny times again a couple of times this past year. I started listening to the upbeat "indie" stuff like Tokyo Police Club and Vampire weekend. I even kept some of my pop rock roots by keeping The Maine on repeat and poppin' champagne with All Time Low. I went to Sing It Loud shows.

Now that I'm back at the bottom of the cycle, I find myself listening to more somber stuff like the new Stills, new Kings of Leon, Fleet Foxes, Portugal. The Man, and Secret Machines. A lot of emotion in those songs, but they're not very lighthearted or sunny. Definitely all music that is best listened to alone.Even when I did put on The Maine yesterday to try and change my mood, I didn't find myself getting very into it besides the slower songs in the middle of the album. I don't think to put on The Format or Hot Hot Heat, but go right to Owen and City and Colour.

If my mood does turn around again, where will my tastes be situated on the musical spectrum?