University Of Manchester?

Looking at testimonials from people in study abroad programs through Carlson tonight, I really started to freak out. Put that on top of the fact I can't get many credits from studying in Belgium or Bordeaux, France, and I became terrified. Leaving everyone behind for a program and culture that's so completely different from my own would really stretch my limits. I was contemplating not going.

Despite my desire to study abroad in the French language, I think I am going to check out the Manchester Business School. The students who left testimonials online for me to read really,really liked it. I might like it, too! They have so many classes that look like they could transfer to my major courses. My good friend from Kentucky is currently studying in England, so I know I can lean on her for tips & support. I was really looking forward to immersing myself completely in a different world with a different language, but my reluctance to deal well with changes around me will probably make me a better fit for a university in England. I did look at Scottish and Welsh universities, but none have the business strength I need. I am getting more and more excited about this opportunity as I write about it. I also feel like a bit of a traitor, too. I have been so excited to talk to people about studying in Belgium, and before that Bordeaux, and now I will be talking about England. I'm not fickle, but adapting to the changes I am presented. I thought Bordeaux would work out, and then I thought Belgium would work out.

Yes, I do get swept up in grand ideas without sometimes following through - a doggie day fundraiser for the Eau Claire Humane Society, buying only organic clothes (which I would do if I had money from working at Gopher Grocery instead of having to go on hiatus for the semester), etc. But studying abroad has really been a main goal for me since before I can remember. Traveling burns a fire in my heart, and the curriculum of many European universities will allow me to do that, if I save like mad over winter break and the summer.

I am terrified of coming back a completely different person that no one will love like they did before. I don't want to alienate the people who are the most important to me. And I don't want those people to change and move on while I'm gone! That is my biggest fear. What will I do without the rocks I have come to depend on every day? What will I do when I can't go home to snuggle with my mom after a difficult week? I will have to change and grow and hope it's in a way that will bring me closer to everyone.