Monday, April 28, 2008

This Fits [with a few corrections]

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of [Minnesota], I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll [go with my] lover and fly him out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, [less] snow would be nice...

Future Schooling

I read today that it's been almost 6 months since the first snowfall of the season, and then I walked outside to light flurries. They've turned off the heat in my dorm so that I can barely function. IT'S 33 DEGREES OUTSIDE. I actually think it's illegal for landlords to do something like this. But this is a university.

The weather has led me to do some research on other top undergraduate business schools across the country. Business Week did a lot of the research for me. Carlson ranked #42. A lot of the schools intrigued me, and comments about some of the schools scared me away from them.

If I do transfer, I'm worried about losing scholarships and finding replacement scholarships and stuff. I'm also worried about the cost of living in certain areas of the country, since Minnesota is a lot cheaper than the coasts.

I previously mentioned maybe checking out Boston, and both Boston College and Boston University made the list higher than Carlson. I then checked average monthly temperatures there as compared to Minneapolis, as well as average annual snowfall. The verdict: It's a lot more temperate and there is less snow (although not much, to be honest. 9 inches less.) It sounds like a promising lead.

I know it may seem foolish to move just because of the weather, but waking up to snow in April really affects my mood. There's only so much I can handle, and this winter has been beyond brutal. It seems to get worse every year. I also would like to live in a couple parts of the country before I settle down to have a family so I know the best place for me. Both my parents understand my feelings, so that's encouraging. I guess I'll just have to start traveling and researching transfer options!

Lots of Thoughts Today

I'm barely even paying attention to election coverage these days. I'm just sick of people reporting on Obama's slip-ups or Clinton's campaign debts. Yes, both candidates are going to go down in history for being black or female, but Democrats should really be contrasting their views and how well they match their party's ideals. Yes, it is important for the convention to pick the candidate they think can most likely beat McCain, but the issues should be the most important. I only know Obama's stance on a couple of key issues and I barely know anything about Clinton at all. No one is reporting on how they differ on major topics, leaving America to vote off of image once again.

I haven't even decided if I'm going to vote. I don't really share the same views as any of the candidates - I just looked at some of their stances online - and I'd rather not just vote for the lesser of two evils come November. I'm more moderate and no candidate is like that; I'm not really Republican and I'm certainly not batting for the political Left. There's nothing wrong with those that are; I just have a different opinion.

And that's a key thing for me: no one is wrong in their views because it's all just opinions. I hate political debates with peers because no one's opinion is going to change and neither side is really listening to the other because they're too busy thinking of the next point they can use to prove they're "right." But I think political debates between candidates are great - as long as they're not focusing on petty issues, ahem. It really gives people the chance to see how the candidates separate themselves and it's a really easy way to learn about the issues at hand.

People my age are all too busy watching The Hills and getting false conceptions of reality to tune into such debates. P. Diddy was the host of a debate between Kerry and Bush on MTV last election and I think that was brilliant - despite most of his posse that wore "VOTE OR DIE" shirts not even registering to vote. It's so hard to get our apathetic generation to get involved with things that don't center directly on them [hmm... another blog topic]. My friend Curt is a political science minor (sorry if I got that wrong, yo!) and involved in Obama's campaign. I've learned a lot through him and he's also inspired me to at least get more informed.

That's really all I'm asking of the American population. I don't care who you vote for or who wins, as long as they're elected based on the issues instead of superficial media sensations. And if you don't vote because you don't like any of the candidates, that's okay too.

Finding Peace

Coming home this weekend made me realize how much our house just needs to sell. I think it would give my whole family more certainty about the future and force my parents to decide what direction they are going in once and for all. My dad just wants to be free of this mess and move on with his life, and I guess I can't blame him. It's rough always having to be prepared for a house showing. This has dragged on since September and come to be one big headache. It leaves my whole summer in uncertainty and I avoid going home so I don't make a mess of my room and my bathroom for my parents or myself to clean up for an open house or sudden showing.

Have $325,000? Please buy it.

Environmental Friendliness

I'm in Biogeography and we're talking about the effects of global warming and human activity on the rest of the earth. I've been thinking lately about how I feel about it and what I can do. I support green products, ideas, and actions, but I realized I wasn't engaging in them much myself. I recycle my water bottles, drink soy milk that is powered by wind, and walk or take the bus to school, but it stops right about there. The clothing I buy is just a good idea for me because it's cheap and cute, but how is that affecting the rest of the world? It's supporting low-wage labor factories in poor countries and those factories might be very harmful on the atmosphere. I am going to try to do my part and spend the little extra money to buy products that are more environmentally safe. Before I buy any other type of clothing, I'm going to buy some organic cotton t-shirts or a dress or something like that. It's really hard to find affordable things that meet the criteria, though. I've subscribed to a couple blog feeds that focus on sustainable fashions and that's definitely opened my eyes. Hopefully one of these days I can strike gold.

I bought natural body wash yesterday that cost twice as much as the softsoap exfoliating body wash I wanted, but that's just $2.50 extra. Maybe that will inspire me to use less and waste less, saving me money in the long run. Now, the ingredients used aren't organic or anything, but all are found naturally in the environment. I'm going to stay on the lookout for more stuff like that and I plan on buying more organic food when I move into my own place and start buying my own groceries.

Even though people can speculate on the actual human impact on global warming/climate change, doing better for the environment can't hurt. We don't know how our actions will affect how the world will be in 100 years so I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Affected/Moving Home

So I thought I would just kind of forget about the sexual assault that happened 2 floors above me in my dorm and go about my life as usual. However, as you know, one has a lot of time to think in the shower. I started to let my imagination get the best of me and thought of every creak I heard was a potential rapist or robber. I shook it off and was brushing my teeth when a girl barged into the bathroom unexpectedly. I jumped about 5 feet off the ground and almost choked myself with my toothbrush because I scared myself too bad. She seemed startled by me, too, and we laughed and talked about how it's kind of scary to go to the bathroom now. It would be very unlikely for something like that to happen again, but I'm betting that a lot of girls in my dorm are feeling just as wary.

As a result of the assault, Pioneer has also decided to close off access to all doors but the main doors. I would have no problem with this if the dorm wasn't laid out how it is. Here is my problem:

My dorm room is almost as far away from the main door as you can get. It takes at least 2 minutes to walk there. If I forget something as I walk out the door by my room [as long as I'm still allowed to walk out of it], I'm screwed. All I can say is that I'm glad that there I only have 2 1/2 weeks left living here.

But that means I have to move home. And I don't really want to do that. I like living on my own and being able to stay out as late as I want and stay where I want and let people stay over as long as they want. I like being able to sleep next to Aaron when he comes over, which is something he can't do when we're just at my house. I guess it's only 3 1/2 months that I will be home - wherever that ends up being once our house hopefully sells - but 3 1/2 months is a really long time if you think about it. :[

- less freedom
- sharing a bathroom with Kenny
- rules
- having to drive everywhere

- not wearing flip flops in the shower
- fresh fruit!!!!! and healthy food for free
- big room & bed
- being able to cook

Friday, April 25, 2008

Recipe Project

Next year I will be living in a place with a kitchen & I just can't wait to cook! In preparation for such a grand event, I'm going to compile a little book of recipes. That way I can always have ideas at my fingertips when I run out of them in my head :) I am therefore kindly asking you to submit to me any recipes you think I should have. Ask your mom, older sister, little brother, everyone! I might even cook you the recipes you submit to me :)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Root Beer Floats

Not the same greatness as chocolate shakes, but they're a good substitute for today. I tried to bring Jackie one after work, but she was sadly gone, so I just ate two :) Not a bad tradeoff, really. The best part about tomorrow is that I have to deposit my paycheck and the bank just happens to be right next to Dairy Queen. There's almost no way my goals can be thwarted, FINALLY. I'm still hungry, though. I skipped eating after work to rush to Jackie's room, but I don't really feel like going back. Maybe I'll have another stale cinnamon sugar bagel :)

I am getting annoyed with people stealing my ideas lately. Tattoos, clothing choices, drawing ideas, and laptop placement. I mean, I guess it's nice that people think my ideas are sweet, but I think so too and would like to keep them mine. Looks like I'm going to have to find some original new hobbies and places to shop.

I just found out that the CW will not be streaming the rest of the new Gossip Girl eps online because it's supposedly taking away from their Nielson ratings. So I had to watch it in 14 parts on youtube. It was worth it though, really. Can't get enough. Only problem is that it's nothing like the books now.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Fall 2008

...this is going to be interesting. It took me an hour to successfully assemble some classes together because BA 3000 is only offered at the most awkward times. I am going to take ENG 1401W: Introduction to "Third World" Literature in English. This is only because it's the only class that would fit and allow me to take part in Entrepreneurship Club. My Mondays go from 10:10 am to 5:00 pm. But I was able to make sure I have time for lunch and doing homework between classes every day. And my Fridays end at 11:00 am! I was also able to arrange things so that I can check out MEBO (Music and Entertainment Business Organization), a club that you can probably guess deals with music business and stuff. It seems legit and my advisor keeps telling me I'd be perfect for it. Maybe I'm meant for music business after all.

My advisor also put my nerves at ease today by assuring me that starting business classes will help me determine what I want to do for the rest of my life. I mentioned a journalism minor and she seemed to agree it was a good option to consider. I do like writing, but I'm only good at doing required writing just hours before the deadline to do it. But I think that's how all journalists do it (at least in the movies). Maybe I will be cool and hip and become the next Carrie Bradshaw? Hahaha... too much Sex & The City. I just don't know if I can handle always being stressed about getting an article done. Aaron witnessed firsthand last night how malicious I can get when I have something to complete and no time or motivation/energy to do it. Yikes.

So this leaves me in a sticky situation for jobs. I'd have to work after 5:30 every day except Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. I need to either find a miraculous job that required 8 hours those three days, or I'll have to become a waitress or something. At least I know that I shouldn't get a receptionist job this summer because no one wants one for just three months. I feel a lot better about things even though they're a little bit ambiguous still. There's a shadowy structure looming in the distance :)

I am excited to have times to be involved in student groups next year. I might even use some of my extra West Bank time volunteering at Radio K, too! I think I'll be a lot happier and hopefully make some neat-o friends and contacts. I just won't have a whole lot of extra time at night to socialize with those people.

So, know any sweet weekend jobs or places for me to waitress? I'm thinking sushi!

P.S. The best part is that I'm not even officially registered yet. I just wanted to figure it all out today so I can wake up at 10:10 Thursday and click a few buttons. Hopefully I don't get screwed like last semester and have my choice classes be full. Cross yo' fingers.

P.P.S. Hi mom!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Chocolate Shake/Malt Awards

They've been on my mind since NO ONE will bring me one. I think I am going to take matters into my own hands tomorrow.

1. Annie's Parlour: Perfection. And they give you so much!!!! Please bring a friend and split a chocolate malt and half order of fries. Yum. By friend I mean me.
2. Mickey's Diner, St. Paul: Aaron and I used to go here a lot before he moved back to Eau Claire :( But this malt is good. The amount given is wimpy, though.
3. Wendy's Frostys: Cheap, thick, tasty. Definitely the way to go if you're near one and don't have time to sit down and order one at a more legit place. However, there is no Wendy's by the U of M (it's a long trip on a 16 bus ride) or super close to my house.
4. Dairy Queen: Preferred choice: banana split blizzard. They are like chocolate shakes with bananas and strawberries and I don't even know what else thrown in. I can down one in about 5 minutes. I wonder if they mediums are still on sale for that really cheap price.

Only as a last resort: McDonalds: Half the time they accidentally mix strawberry or vanilla in (one time I got both = neapolitan shake). They are watery and make you feel kinda sick if you drink too much too fast (personal experience cited here).

And I don't recommend getting one at Snuffy's in St. Paul. Mine was watery and not chocolaty enough. But the turkey burger I had was good. Keep that in mind.

Always a good idea: Make your own!! It is wise to have vanilla ice cream and Hershey's sauce on hand at all times. If you wake up and don't want to wash your face to go out and get one, or waste gas by driving to McDonald's to get a crappy one anyway, having a blender and the above things + milk is essential!!! I have done this many times. I can also make as many as I want without anyone judging me. And make them as chocolaty as possible without going overboard. This is not an option if you live in a dorm, however, and it breaks my heart to think of the expensive blender I have at home right now.

Tissue Brands

I just went through a family size box of Kleenex in less than one week and my nose didn't hurt nearly as bad as using 2 Puffs Plus tissues just now. I don't blame my roommate for not knowing what's up. I even assumed Puffs might be better because of their sweet commercials with little clay people that have pointy little noses like mine. I like the Kleenex boxes better anyway. They're probably less environmentally friendly since they have plastic on them and glue to adhere the plastic vs. Puffs' rip-open front, but it's worth it. It just shows how much they splurge on their customers. And maybe we're lucky and the plastic is made out of biodegradable corn resin. Anyways, a word from the wise (saying "to the wise" just doesn't make sense because you don't know yet!): Kleenex is the way to go.

Metrodome = Stuck in the Past

I know it will soon be torn down, but in the mean time they need to change their food choices!! Today I went to a Twins game with the Carlson freshmen and we were given free hot dog and pop tickets. Now, I don't eat red meat or pork, so I was hoping there would be something on the menu I could persuade them to exchange it for. NO, NOTHING. There was popcorn and pretzels and sunflower seeds, but nothing that was even worth trying to exchange it for. I did go the popcorn route, simply because I hadn't eaten yet and I was crabby as all get out because the girls sitting behind me had the IQs of coconuts. However, they denied me. WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT, PEOPLE?! I understand it's America and baseball and blah blah blah but they should offer some kind of alternative for people who enjoy America's favorite past time but not the average American pant size. I really would like to write a letter of complaint and ask them to change, but I know it wouldn't go anywhere. I'll just have to sit at Twins games and feel ripped off since my coupon will only be worth a soda to me.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Endangered Species

A lot of the time Aaron and I talk about how we are endangered species. We are unlike most people our age. I have never smoked, smoked weed, or gotten drunk, and I never plan on doing any of those things. I don't really like partying and have a hard time talking to or connecting with acquaintances and strangers. I have nothing to bond over standing outside of a club or concert, since I'm just there for the fresh air, which is incidentally polluted with smoke. I used to have a different person to hang out with every night and I was never in my dorm room. Jackie let me tag along to various social events, where I never minded being the designated driver. I enjoy being able to remember the ridiculous statements of others.

Last semester I made a lot of acquaintances, none of which I've really kept in contact with this semester. I kind of regret it, but I don't really know. I realize and I'm sure they've all realized we don't have much in common besides the people we know. When I went to Moon Goons on Friday, I felt so awkward the whole time because I didn't know everyone like everyone else seemed to. I just had Kim, and we clung to each other for dear life. I miss going to Too Much Love with a big group of girls and weaving in and out of the crowd and heading outside every ten minutes. Why did that stop?

The only person I talk to on a daily basis is Aaron, and my roommate Kim if she's around. But she's not in the room a lot during the weekend. And during the week, I just shut my door and do whatever while she takes over the main room and does homework. I'm not a fan of homework and I'd rather not do it when I'm not forced to (I should be writing a paper right now, but I've been procrastinating on it for weeks, so why give in now?).

Basically, I feel like there is no one really like me my age that I can connect to. With the things I like to do, none of the people that like doing them too really share my other interests. I realized today I hate everyone that goes to Carlson at the U. They are just like the rest of the balloon-head people that go here. They all drink, love frats, and love random hookups and terrible top 40s music. No one has meaningful conversations. Are they all living in fear and denial of what their lives are, or are they perfectly content to live life on the surface?

I am struggling to find activities to enjoy where I could meet new people. My interests are usually short-lived. I like movies and books, but I don't have the money to buy a new book often. I like writing but I'm afraid of seriously pursuing it. I like clothes, but don't have the creativity to be a designer or start some vintage eBay store like every indie girl these days. I don't have musical talents or the funds to go to tons of shows and meet people that could like the same music as me. Most of those people are heavy into the drug/alcohol scene anyway. I like animals but I'm allergic to them and scared of most of them. I love food and cooking, but again don't have the resources. What am I going to start, a cooking club? I don't know what to do to occupy my time and meet more people like me. I'm too young to be taken seriously by people whose maturity level I feel I match, but too mature for most people that are 18 years old. It leads me to wonder: are there even any people like me anyway?

Maybe it's the city I'm in. I've never been out of the midwest-ish corridor of the United States and would really like to experience the coasts. Aaron talked of moving to Boston, his hardcore mecca, and that led me to wonder if I could find my niche there. I want to visit it at least, to see if it's just something in the water here that sets me apart from everyone else. It could be that I spent my most important socially developmental years with properness and manners in Kentucky, but left before small-town boredom got the best of me and turned me into a fool. Maybe I even belong in another country. I'm too scared to travel alone and let everything change while I'm gone, though.

I'm on a quest to find more endangered species like me. If you're out there, let me know. If Aaron and I are the last ones on the planet, we better start procreating [joke joke joke].

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Sick as a Dog/All Dogs Go To Heaven

So I feel sick as a dog, but apparently not as sick as my dog Bo is. He was so sick he couldn't lift his head Thursday night, but he bounced back after a visit to the vet. Today my mom got the bloodwork results back and found out he has cancer that is causing massive internal bleeding. We are putting him to sleep tomorrow and even though I was always distant with him (I have allergies... I'm not entirely heartless), I can't believe how sad I am about it. It's mostly because of my mom. He's her constant companion while she remains separated from my dad, and after tomorrow he won't be, and I don't know how she will deal.

He has always been a real fighter. First he was given to the Humane Society in Kentucky for a reason unknown to me, then neglected by our neighbors who adopted him from the Humane Society, then he lost one of his front legs when he was run over by a car just weeks before we moved to Minnesota. Now he's been limpin' around for the past 6 years or so and he doesn't mind one bit. He is the best dog I have ever met, and I'm sure that you've met if you ever came to my house. He rarely barks, never licks, only bit my brother once because he jumped on Bo while the poor dog was sleeping, and loves being pampered and pet. I always warn(ed) friends before they came over not to pet him because his head will be permanently under their hand if they started to. He is an incredible companion. He even let me use walking him as an excuse to walk by the cute neighbor's house every day in the summer.

I guess this entry is my dedication to him, and my sincerest apology for rarely giving him the affection and time of day he deserves from me. I just hope I can make it home tomorrow before we put him to sleep, if he makes it through the night.

I loved Bo and I hope you did too. My cat is going to be really lonely now, and so is my whole family.

So Sick :(

When I get sick, it's not just a little bit of sniffles that I can brush aside. I always manage to get knocked out completely, throwing off all the parts of my life. I learned recently that it's partially due to my asthma medicine, which makes it take longer for me to recover. But either way, I'm currently missing two days of class, it's taking even longer to make up my French oral exam, I was supposed to have a 6-page paper done that is due tonight, I have to do my laundry asap so I have a usable work uniform, I'm missing work = $$$, and the list goes on. I never know if professors expect me to suck it up and go to class and do my assignments, or if they have hearts and would understand that I haven't even had a chance to start my philosophy paper. I feel like I always have to exaggerate my conditions to make it seem like I deserve to stay in bed, not doing anything. I'm worried I'll do poorly on my next French test because I've missed 2 days of instruction on the current chapter. When all this stuff starts piling up and I am struggling to get better, I panic. I get even more stressed out and start burning my candle at both ends, just making me more miserable. I get depressed because I'm so unproductive. When I was in bed for two weeks over winter break, I cried every day because I couldn't change it or get out in the world. I was also depressed because Aaron was the only person to come see me, despite the fact that he was in Eau Claire half the time and working full-time for a moving company the other half of the time.

I would really like it if someone brought me a chocolate shake, but there's not really a place to get them close enough for Kim to walk to it and walk back to the dorm. It's supposed to get up to 70 degrees today and I won't even get to walk outside. That's something else that depresses me.

I guess I'll just sit in bed and watch Dexter (if Aaron says it's okay ;) ) until I fall asleep again or decide to read or something else, like hanging out with the person who brings me a shake. This blog is called Vonnie CHOCSHAKES. Thanks.

Friday, April 11, 2008

This Rulesssssss

From Paste:

GNR delivers Democracy to Geffen amidst conspiracy
Writer: Christina Hansen
News, Published online on 10 Apr 2008

After more than a decade of false promises and speculation, Axl Rose and his Guns N’ Roses bandmates have finally delivered their long-fabled album Chinese Democracy to Geffen Records. The record’s final price tag is estimated to be a cool $13 million.

Many music industry observers thought today’s announcement would never come. The band began working on Chinese Democracy 14 years ago as the follow-up to 1993’s The Spaghetti Incident, but money, copyright issues and turmoil between the band members plagued the project from the very beginning. GNR announced the album’s completion and release dates several times, most recently in March of 2007, but the album never materialized.

Then came an announcement from GNR cheerleader-come-lately Dr Pepper. In “an unprecedented show of solidarity with Axl,” company executives announced in March that every man, woman and child in America would receive a free can of Dr. Pepper if Chinese Democracy was released before year’s end. The only people excluded from the promise of a bubbly beverage were estranged GNR guitarists Slash and Buckethead.

Was Dr Pepper’s announcement the kick-in-the-ass that Axl needed to finish the album? After all, who doesn’t love an ice-cold fizzy beverage, especially when it's free? But what if there are more powerful forces at work here? What if...

...Axl was not waiting for Dr Pepper to jump on board the Chinese Democracy train. What if, perhaps, he was waiting for none other than the International Olympic Committee to approve China’s bid to host the world’s foremost athletic competition?

*cue spooky music*

It all started in 1993 when Chinese officials made their first bid to host the Olympic Games, the 2000 summer games, in the capital city of Beijing. As the IOC vote to determine the location of the 2000 games drew near, China’s only clear competition came from Australia, whose officials were championing Sydney for hosting duties. When the results of the IOC vote were announced, the Chinese were heartbroken to discover that the kangaroo-lovers from Down Under had been awarded the 2000 games by a paltry two-vote margin.

Axl heard the tale of Beijing’s failed Olympic bid, and felt an immediate solidarity with the Chinese. Devastated by the mediocre sales and scathing reviews of The Spaghetti Incident that same year, the GNR frontman understood what it felt like when the whole world craps on one’s dreams. An anonymous official in the Chinese government confirmed that Axl called Chinese President Jiang Zemin the very next day to express his sympathy, and make a vow that Guns N’ Roses would not release another album until China was awarded the Olympic Games.

Axl’s GNR bandmates were unaware of the promise for several years, until Slash overheard a telephone conversation between Axl and Zemin in 1996. An ardent supporter of the Dalai Lama’s crusade for Tibetan independence, Slash confronted Axl and announced he was quitting the band after several hours of bitter arguing. Guitarist Buckethead was also oblivious to Axl’s ties with China when he joined the band in 2000. It was only after he ran into Slash at a Hard Rock CafĂ© opening in 2004 that he learned of the frontman’s pact with China. Buckethead, however, was not particularly political; his departure from the band later that year, due to his erratic behavior and unreliability, was merely coincidental.

Axl waited patiently over the next eight years as China prepared to throw its hat into the Olympic ring again. In 2001, Chinese officials again proposed Beijing as a host city, this time for the 2008 summer Olympics. When the results of the OIC vote were announced that July, Chinese officials rejoiced: in a landslide victory, Beijing had crushed its nearest competitor Toronto by 22 votes. Chinese Democracy finally had a release date of August 2008, to coincide with the Beijing Olympics.

Mark our words: The GNR gang will make a show of haggling over money and rights to the new album for the next couple of months, but Axl has known the release date all along. The free Dr Pepper is just icing on the cake. Axl was so excited about the record’s release that he wrote on that he would even share his can with Buckethead.

But then again, what do we know?

Thursday, April 10, 2008


I am tired of not having many friends. There are so many cool things I want to do this weekend but I have no one to do them withhhhhhhh :( I really want to go to the free showing of I'm Not There (Bob Dylan moooovie) at Coffman tomorrow night, then hit up Kid Games night at the Rec Center on Saturday, followed by a jaunt to Too Much Love because supahsick DJs from NY are playin'. Why is it so hard to find sweet people in a place with 50,000 students? I'm probably going to sign up to do phones at Radio K's Power Surge this weekend and through the next week because it's free food and maybe I'll meet some sick kidz to go to things with. It is a major lame thing that my boyfriend lives 100 miles away and doesn't go to the U so therefore can't get into Kid Games night anyway. And that he is not coming here this weekend. And my roommate is flying to South Dakota to see her boyfriend for the whole weekend :((((

At least tomorrow I can look forward to making $10-50 in a computer-based research thing. After I have a Macro midterm and French oral exam. LAME.

Not Studying for my Econ Midterm

Today I found out I absolutely hate a couple of things:

Sun-Dried Tomatoes:I thought I liked them, but today when I was workin' in the good ol' cafeteria, I ate a slice of mushroom and sdt pizza and I could barely choke it down!! They smell horrendous, have a funny texture, and TASTE REALLY REALLY BAD. They are now on the very short list of veggies I hate: sdt's, brussel sprouts, and the topper, OKRA. Note to you: never eat okra. Ever.

Minnesota weather: Although I love this city for the arty and cool things to do always, while still remaining a family-based place that's small enough not to have rampant crime where I would be scared of walking alone after dark, I CAN'T TAKE THE WEATHER ANYMORE. I guess I didn't really discover this today, but it was heavily reinforced. It's April 10th and it just shouldn't be snowing. I think it's time for me to explore other cities as options to live in when I get out of college because I'm sure I can find a place that meets my arty hipster and shopping standards that is much warmer or more consistent in its weather patterns. Maybe I'll even consider Europe. I like how they run things (minus the health care) over there.

I also discovered something I absolutely love: Vanilla Silk soy milk. I mean, I've had this stuff before because my brother drank it when my parents were trying to reduce his ADHD-like actions by a change in diet instead of drugs (smart parents, yo). I could only handle small bits at a time, and never just a glass of the stuff. However, my lovely friend Sonia dropped off a half gallon of the stuff in my room since she so vehemently hated the taste when she was forced to buy it as a substitute for milk for her daily oatmeal. I just so happened to need some milk-type substance to eat my tasty Kashi granola with. THE COMBINATION IS SOOOOOOOOOO GOOOD. I have been eating it for 2 meals a day the past couple of days, even skipping my habitual thursday morning brunch with friends. Today it has been the only real food I've eaten. I'm still starving for dinner, but there is no way I'm walking over to Centennial for some gross food in this weather. It has as much calcium and other vitamins as regular milk, but even fewer calories and 6.25 grams of protein!!! I need protein. I can't remember the last time I had any kind of meat. The lesson: GO TRY SOYMILK!!! I love tasty, healthy food.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Philosophy Class

I hate this class. It's 3 hours long on a Tuesday night and I just hate the concept of philosophy in the first place. It picks apart every word and idea and ruins the simple beauty of life. I don't need to understand why I am my own person, I just am.

Do you ever just have those really hard weeks? Nothing's really going wrong but everything just seems to affect me too much and I can't help but dwell on the negative. I've been struggling to get out of bed and accomplish anything because I feel like I'm going to cry if I even have to get dressed. I had a midterm on Monday but didn't have any of my other classes that day, and work has been really easy with no one yelling at me to get something done. Maybe I'm just so close to being done with school, but there is still so much for me to accomplish before then. I have all kinds of tests and projects to do before the end of the semester. I have 22 days of work left. I don't know where I'm living once I move out of my dorm. I don't know where I'm supposed to get a job because I don't know where I'm living. Once again the uncertainty issue pops up. It's really overwhelming and I don't know what to do to get answers because no one really has them for me.

Maybe I should join a new activity, but it's too late in the school year to join a club and my only free time is after 9 most days. I don't even know what to look out for. I have so few friends these days that I rarely hang out with anyone (I update my blog instead). I'm still friendly with everyone I was hanging out with earlier in the school year, but we realized eventually that our interests are different and I feel like I have a different life plan and ideas about morality than everyone else. I do the same things, but with different means/ends in mind. Long, confusing story short: I feel alone.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

More Procrastination: Job Speculation/Passions

I think it's really fascinating that there is a person in the world who is a specialist in the ancestry of whales. Why whales? Why is his job and research so specific? Does he really like whales that much and think the study of their evolution is the best thing he could be doing in his life? It's just out of my league to think about something that specific when I don't even know what field I want to go into. I love writing (only non-fictional, report-type stuff) but I don't think I have what it takes to be a journalist and write everyday, mostly about stuff I don't care about. I'm just not that passionate about it. I like the music industry and kind of want to be a manager or run a label, but labels are becoming obsolete and hearing about the way bands are run and marketed is making jaded (call me overdramatic). I really like my biogeography class but I can't see myself as a geography major or finding a job in that field. I don't want to work in the human resources (one of my minors) department of a large corporation, and I've discovered the reality of being an event planner.

I'm really struggling to find things I'm passionate about. I watch Aaron's online Netflix, refresh myspace and write my blog. And take lots of naps. I really love cooking and food, which isn't exactly something I can expand on and experiment with in a dorm. I can't wait to be home this summer and then have my own brand-new kitchen in my condo next year. Hopefully it's something I can really do a lot of. I feel so bad because Aaron bought me a raw foods "cook"book for my birthday last year and I haven't used it once. It has so many great ideas that I want to try, but last summer I worked full-time and had no energy/time at the end of the day to go to the grocery store and do the complex preparation that raw foods dishes require. Then again, I'm looking for a full-time job this summer and next fall I'm taking 17 or 18 credits and trying to work at least 20 hours a week.

Honestly, I just want to run a small organic grocery store in a nice suburb and have bi-weekly cooking and info events. I want to be involved in my kids' lives and put them first. I want to love what I do and not wake up wondering why I thought it would be okay to do this for the rest of my life. I know I don't have to decide right now, but college is supposed to set you on your path and I don't want to waste my education or scholarship funds or my parents' money.

This is only a small part of the uncertainty that has swallowed my life whole. I just feel like I'm lost or floating above the earth with a few tethers to keep me from drifting away completely.

sw33t weekend

It was a little tough, but full of neat things! Aaron came on Thursday night and therefore made it the longest weekend everrrrrrrrrrrr. It felt like today would never come. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that it did in fact come, considering I have a biogeography midterm tomorrow that I'm having a hard time studying for tonight. He greeted me with a cute lil' frame of our photobooth pictures from Club Firestone in Orlando :) Friday we hit up the Humane Society and the Apartment Search place in Uptown, where the volunteer and counselor from each place thought we were living together and really cool. Ahhh shinfo. I also received a tasty Erbs&Gerbs sub while Aaron got himself a Chipotle burrito. Oh, the art of compromise and teamwork. He highly recommends the movie Sideways, while I give it a 7/10. Saturday morning consisted of the traditional Centennial brunch, followed by his tattoo consultation (even I'm excited for it to get started :) ) and my first everrrr TWINS GAME!

We got Family Zone seats (the no alcohol rule was obviously a problem) so we could get soda and dogs. But we only used one coupon and now feel ripped off. I recommend tracking down the milk & cookies guy because that was a perfect treat!! Next time I'm getting a malt cup. I have a lot to learn about baseball, but I really enjoyed the game. Joe Mauer is not as cute as everyone thinks in my opinion. But I can't wait to buy matching Kirby Puckett jerseys and Twins caps to wear to a bunch of other games this season!! I think it's sweet that the Carlson freshmen are going to a game all together too. Fo free! Maybe I will actually start waking up on Saturdays and having things to do on weekday nights.

Another first for me on Saturday was Chinooooooo Latinooooooooo. We got reservations at 11:30 (only available ones, yo!) and were seated right next to the bar... real cool. But our server was legit and took us to another place to sit so we actually had personal space and could hear each other talk. Ordering was super difficult for us because I like weird, cool vegetarian and seafood dishes, while Aaron likes spicy, normal chicken and beef things. We settled on the totopos (shredded chicken nachos yummmm) and the something banana boat chicken, which is plantain-encrusted, served with jasmine rice (my favorite kind) and a sweet passionfruit sauce. The server was even kind enough to put the totopos' black beans on the side for me since Aaron don't like 'em. Both things = super delicious!!!!!!!! The boat chicken thing was the best 4 sure, but the shredded chicken on the totopos was extra tasty. We decided to go with Hot Funky Love for dessert (read = deep fried Snickers with vanilla ice cream). I discovered I am not a huge fan of deep fried candy bars but it was still decent. One of the highlights: awesome fortunes in the fortune cookies. "You two are way beyond couples counseling." Next time I want the sacrificial s'mores! And maybe somehow convince the server to bring me a Crack Ho Mojito. yummmm.

Today was a typical Sunday lunch with Aaron's grandparents up in Hugo. A long drive that's worth it, in my opinion. A tasty turkey sandwich + loads of fruit I can't get at school + the best choc. chip cookies and ice cream around :) Gotta love the Geres! Only thing that was missing today/this weekend was a chocolate malt. I haven't had one in ages and my soul is slowly disappearing. Take me out this weekend? Thanks.

No french class tomorrow, woo! This means I get to do laundry and pick up contact solution before I work, and hopefully get in a decent-sized nap. I can't believe I'm done with school in 6 weeks, but I can't wait for it to come.

P.S. I'm pissed my mom is in Orlando right now because I really wish she could do my taxes for me. I suck at those. And I can't believe I've waited this long. But I need the tax return I'm getting hella bad. Death Cab 4 Cutie tix set me back $101 for the moment.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


I've been putting this off forever, but now I'm sitting in a 3-hour class so I really have no excuse. I've been spending all my free time watching Weeds Seasons 1 & 2 (thank you Aaron), napping, and refreshing my google reader.

Florida = Perfect. The rundown:
- Meal on the plane down = cheeseburger. No alternate.
+ Free dessert at Animal Kingdom thanks to a health-conscious family
+ Being 10 feet away from 2 giraffes on a sweet safari that we got to jump in line for twice!
- A bird pooping on my face
+ Dude looking like Lil' Wayne on our plane that ended up being an African dancer at Animal Kingdom
- Walking many miles around Kissimmee waiting for our friend's cousin to get a tattoo
+ The adventures & new sunglasses that came from said walk
+ 21-plus wristband at the club
+ Not abusing the wristband
+ Sweeeeeeeeet photobooth in the club
+ Remembering how much I love dancing
+ Sleeping in until 1 the next day
+ Grandparents driving us for hours around the east coast beaches
- Terrible food at captain j's seafood. Don't go there.
+ Gatorland! It must have been British day because everyone had an accent.
+ Being accepted with a Southern accent at Gatorland.
- Scary gators
- Missing Easter church
+ Missing Easter church
+ Islands of Adventure was empty because we went on Easter
+ Going on Dueling Dragons three times
+ Going on the Hulk coaster twice
- Forgetting our swimsuits for the water rides
+ Cocoa Beach excursion with Todd
- Almost getting killed by vultures
- Wind causing beaches of sand to be embedded in my hair
+ Linner at Mimi's Cafe
- Pools never being warm enough
+ The weather never being too hot
+ Naps, naps, naps
+ Waffle House chocolate chip waffles
+ Mini golf: free game, hole in 1! & tying with Aaron, the golf expert
+ Peach mango fusion slurpee from 7-11!!!
------- Getting mega sunburned right before we got back on the plane
+ Turkey sandwich on the plane back
+ 9 full days with Aaron 24/7
- Not having it be like that anymore

I still feel like I'm sort of on Spring Break. I don't do much besides nap and watch TV, and I've been neglecting my homework right and left. I have an econ assignment due Friday, a midterm Monday, a midterm next Friday, a paper due the Tuesday after that... etc. Whatever. Less than 6 weeks left. And then I have to find a full-time job so I can have money during the summer.