Saturday, May 31, 2008

Home Life

I'm really frustrated about being home right now. My parents don't really bother me that much and I'm not required to really do chores, so I like that. I don't like being away from the center of everything, but I do like being right next to Hyland so I can bike around whenever I want.

My parents took the house off the market yesterday. We just can't afford to sell our house at the price comparable homes are being sold at. This agonizes me. My dad is really happy, but this is just making things harder in my eyes. It means there's no end in sight for the weird dynamic between my parents. I thought about it, and I just want them to get divorced now. I've just grown so accustomed to the idea and planned for living in a new place with one of them that I would like that plan to follow through. However, I think my parents are going to try counseling. I could never forgive my mom if I were my dad, but Jared pointed out to me that 21 years of marriage can really change your perspective on forgiveness. I just hate this limbo period, and now it's not even going to end. I kind of told my mom how upset I was that she's sending Kenny & me really mixed signals, and she only gave me a beat-around-the-bush answer. I'm just too afraid to really get into it and fully expose how I feel about all of this.

We had a garage sale the past two days, and I made $22! It would have been more since my keyboard sold for $20, but my mom said she really pushed it, so I just decided to split it instead of arguing. Then I got a package today from my grandpa containing 3 John Adams dollars for the "Wagner Memorial Prize for Grade Point Average Achievement." My family is so peculiar sometimes. Both sources of income will go directly to gas money, of course. $50 can't even get me 3/4 of a tank anymore. I HATE GAS. It's pathetic that my '94 boat gets as much MPG as a lot of new cars, especially my dream Acura TSX. I can get 30 MPG on the way to work if I go 62, and on the way home it's about 27 because I have to do a lot of merging, meaning I have to accelerate quickly a lot. Bernadine is almost as good as it gets, as far as cars go. I'll really be panicking when she dies.

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